When the average teen hears “college” they think parties, beer pong, girls, guys, independence…endless parties. But when the religious (using this term lightly) teen hears “college” immediately fear creeps in. “How will I fit in ?”. “Do I really want to come off as that guy/girl?” Naturally we all have this urge to want to fit in ; the issue with “fitting in” is that it’s all a compromise.
Compromising your beliefs for the status quo is NEVER okay. Let me repeat that … Compromising your beliefs for the status quo is NEVER okay!
What happens is you end up eventually losing your self because you are so caught up in being the typical college student.
One thing college completely embodies is INDEPENDENCE , and for that reason alone you would think we’d be eager to carve out our own lanes.
As muslim women ; for our protection and guidance a lot of our differences are visible. Starting off with hijab and our general form of dress. It tends to be more modest and mute.
Because of this reason females are more or less forced to standout because we don’t have the leisure of “blending in ” from a visible point of view.
Then I get asked , “but Nakissy, what about when I finally get past the hurtle of gaining friends and I actually get invited to parties ?”
My answer to that is very simple , BE UPFRONT! The quickest most easiest way to deal with something like getting invited to parties or house gatherings, (alcohol is usually involved) is by stating you don’t party, Or you don’t drink. Point , blank , period. It’s very simple but because of our urge to fit in we make things difficult on ourselves.
When you are upfront and honest with your self and your peers they will respect you for your values. I’ve had friends ask why- and you will have those friends or acquaintances who want to know why , and I tell them. I don’t believe in partying or I don’t really believe in drinking it’s not my thing … DONE
An extremely easy way to circumvent a lot of these societal and peer pressures is by surrounding yourself with people that are like minded. They don’t even have to believe in the same faith as you. One of my closest friends is a Jehovah’s Witness, we share some of the same values and morals . However we completely respect each other’s faiths and the differences that might stem from them.
But because we are like minded we do not ever pressure each other to do anything out of the norm for us . Problem solved!
But then there are some people who just don’t even want to get into the religious explanations and debates and that’s fine! The biggest tip I can give to that person is keep your circles lose. What I mean by that is do not get to close to people where they feel like they have to invite you to their parties and gatherings. Just be that cool girl/guy they hang out with. That way you avoid having to explain anything to anyone;whilst having a somewhat interesting social life .
I hope I was able to answer a few of your questions!